How To Feel Grateful Even If You Do Not Have All You Desire

As we approach Thanksgiving and the holiday season in the United States, there is a lot of emphasis being placed on feeling and expressing gratitude.

A question I am often asked is

How do you feel grateful even when you do not have all you desire?

First, let’s break the myth that feeling gratitude means you have to be a high-vibing unicorn farting out rainbows at all times person.

I spent 18 years studying multi-millionaires, and while some were high-vibes, most had emotional range, and a handful were complete 🍆.  

All of them were comfortable in acknowledging how well they were doing, and how far they’d come.

Gratitude is an appreciation and acknowledgment and there are levels to it. Here are three things you can do to increase your capacity to stay in gratitude.

Journal

Go back

• 6 months;
• 1 year;
• 6 years

and acknowledge and appreciate how far you have come, how supported you’ve been and how resilient you are. Journal on

• the blessings;
• (b)lessons;
• the abundance that has laid itself before you at your feet;
• the food you’ve eaten;
• the schools you’ve gone to;
• the experiences you’ve had;
• the clients you’ve guided,
• the synchronicities and opportunities that have presented themselves. 
• The paths that you have walked
• The air you breathe
• The bed you sleep in.
• The moves you’ve made.
• The mistakes you’ve overcome.

All of it has led you to the only moment that truly counts, Here, Now.

Acknowledge it, appreciate it, and honor it. 

Spend some time here and allow the gratitude to rise up like a heart fire as you read back your list.

One of my favorite manifesting techniques is a time-collapse gratitude journal stack. Here’s how to do it:

List 15 things you are grateful for:

• 5 from the past,
• 5 from the present, and
• 5 from your future goals. 

Now as you journal, mix up those 15 items and express in the present tense (as if it is all happening now) why you are so thankful, and read that back to yourself with conviction every day until your 5 future goals have manifested.

Uncover The Hidden Agendas Lurking In Your Unmet Goal

Another way to increase your capacity to hold a deeper level of gratitude is to examine with radical honesty the hidden agendas lurking in your current desires. When you don’t uncover and clear the hidden agendas in your currently unmet desires, you create these really big expectations and devastating lows as you co-create your goals. 

To uncover the hidden agendas in your currently unmet desires, ask and answer  the following:

When I reach this goal, I’ll finally feel:

1.

2.

3.

When I reach this goal, I’ll finally know that I’m 

1.

2.

3.

When I reach this goal, I’ll finally have proven to [who] that I’m [what]

Once you have that list, just notice all the wonderful things you plan to feel, and be and the validation you will have.

I feel confident that your list are things that you require and desire, and none of those things are inherently ‘bad’…and they are so much weight to put on a goal.  I’m willing to bet that those are all things that you get to BE right now.

In personal development we talk about the success formula:  Be, Do, Have

You Be the person first

Which leads you to DO the actions

That gets you to HAVE the goal

It’s the moving up the spiral from Want, to Desire, to It Is Done.

In other words, you bring what is currently hidden and weighing down your goals, to the forefront and meet those needs directly.

Now answer this:  

If I don’t reach my goal I plan to feel [what]

How do you plan to feel if you don’t reach your goals?   Whatever that answer is it is the contrast to gratitude.   Gratitude is not just honoring and appreciation.  It is trust and acknowledgment that it is done.

When the energy is less than gratitude, doubt has crept into the atmosphere.  It’s not just doubt.  It’s self-doubt.

Ritual

To quickly jump into greater depths of gratitude, ritualize your gratitude practice with a Dihosana (hosanna) and have fun with it!

This is an expression of adoration, praise, or joy. It’s the rainmaking dance, an acknowledgment of gratitude for the rain that came before, and the rain that is to come, both brought into the present space of Now, It Is Done

I wish you a very happy Holiday season, one filled with love, abundance, and gratitude.