It’s the week after Thanksgiving here in the US, and we have officially entered into the holiday season. A season of love, gratitude, joy and peace.
And for some of us it is a very difficult season to be in.
Especially if you are alone. Most especially if you find yourself suddenly alone.
What do I mean by that? You were in a relationship. You gave it your all. You compromised. Actually compromise is an understatement.
You conceded on everything.
You put your partner first in everything.
Put the relationship first in everything.
You were so in love, and it felt great, mostly, except you were always holding your breath a bit.
Holding your breath just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Holding your breath, just waiting for the other shoe to drop, while being there for him.
You know, being the listening ear.
The ever ready support system.
You went out of your way, just holding your breaath, content to make the best of his limited time and limited communication you received back. You, in typical fashion, made a a meal from crumbs.
To be honest, it wasn’t even a hard sell. No one held a gun to your head. You happily handed yourself over.
So he would stay.
So he would recognize that you are good enough.
So that he would realize he made the right choice in being with you.
So you could finally prove that you were worth loving.
And then, as your breathless luck would have it, the other shoe dropped. He left.
He. Left. You. blindsided, hurt, and mad. Mad as hell, because it was so unfair.
And it was unfair, becuase you gave so much of yourself, you forgot who you are.
Forgot who I am, Keisha, what do you mean? Well, let me show you:
Answer this question within 3 secs:
What do you like to do alone?
Yeah, see if you have to think more than 3 seconds to answer the question “what do you like to do alone,” you have lost connection with yourself. And that is unfair. When you are not connected with yourself, it is impossible to make decisions or choices that are aligned and in your best interest.
Why would I write this? Why would I be so mean as to have you take a look at this? Because when you can see it clearly, it is no longer a blindspot, it is no longer hidden. When you get your eyes on this pattern in your past relationships, you can transform your future relationships, including the relationship you have with yourself.
I’m also shining this light of clarity on this issue so that you know you are not by yourself in this. According to a study by the Pew Research Center, the number of people who are “un-partnered” has risen to 61 percent from 56 percent over the past decade.
I recently discussed this with Sandra Oliver Corsco on my live broadcast of What About Me? Sandra is the founder and president of SuddenlyFree.Life. Saundra coaches women who find themselves suddenly free, or suddently alone, whether from seperation, divorce or widowed. Sandra fast tracks their succcessful independence and decision making through her international retreats.
In case you missed the live broadcast, you can catch the replay right HERE as Sandra offers practical tips on getting through the holiday season alone.
If you related to the holding your breath pattern of being in a relationship, take a look at how that shows up in your money. Is your quest for money have you holding your breath wondering:
- Am I good enough for money;
- Am I making the right choices when it comes to money;
- Am I (or do I) provide enough value for money?;
or is money leaving you feeling:
- hurt; and
- mad as hell
Ready to change that? I’m Keisha Dixon, transformational wealth coach and creator of the Monetize Your Mind Success System. I guide women to double their income, working the hours they want, doing what they love. If you are ready to start living the life of your dreams, reach out to me at http://bit.ly/monetizeyourmind — let’s have a conversation, explore your endless possibilities and determine if we should work together to get you there.